


What Were You the God Of Again?

by Hades_the_Blingking



Series: The Lion of the North & the Hound of War [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Asgardian Culture, Deaf Clint Barton, Domestic Avengers, Established Relationship, F/M, Fertility god Thor, Fluff, Humor, Humour, M/M, Nordic singing, Original Avengers ensemble, Sass, Science Bros, Steve continues to call things 'nice', Thundershield - Freeform, Tony Thor and Clint have no significant others, just have a laugh!, multiple POVs, spring is here!, very high levels of sass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-20 19:33:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11927772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hades_the_Blingking/pseuds/Hades_the_Blingking
Summary: When Thor returns in a blaze of lightning, things start to get a little kooky. Despite being Respectable Captain America, Steve can't keep his hands to himself, Bruce is being driven crazy by the weird plants, andwhatis Tony drinking!?Just another fun adventure with our favourite group of superheroes.Comments are very much appreciated! n.n





	What Were You the God Of Again?

**Author's Note:**

> “Raining again?”  
Steve looked up from the news with a wan smile at Hawkeye’s pained tone. The archer let out a dramatic groan and rolled his head back on the couch.  
“Why can’t winter just end already! I’m sick of being wet and cold and frozen and snowed on out on patrol!” Hawkeye shot the oh so terrible, unfair outside world a dark look.  
“It may please you to know that the temperature is ten degrees higher than yesterday.” JARVIS’s positive tone announced. Steve still wasn’t sure about having an omnipresent robot watching them from what he always imagined was Above, but Tony had assured him that JARVIS didn’t monitor private spaces. Thank goodness for that; now that he and Thor had been dating strong for about 7 months, they really did need their privacy. Well, until recently. Thor had been recalled to Asgard for two weeks and counting. Hopefully for nothing too dangerous. Thor didn’t seem to know the difference between ‘danger’ and ‘fun’, but then again, that was probably why they got along so well. 

“Ten degrees? Practically bikini weather.” Natasha draped herself across the arm of the couch and flipped over channels. “Even Steve looks like he’s caught up in winter brooding. Missing a certain someone?”  
She shot him a knowing smile and Steve replied with a tolerant Look.  
“I’m not brooding, Nat.”  
“Well what does a guy from the 30’s call staring off in silence into the dark, rainy distance?” Nat smirked, but everyone was saved from Sass Steve (who’d heard his invocation rites and was about to manifest) by Tony Stark wet-floor-sliding through the Rec Room doors.  
“Aaand that’s how you make an entrance.” The billionaire removed his aesthetic dark glasses and grabbed a bottle of champagne from one of the numerous coolers that littered every floor of the  
tower.  
“How’s the cold, wet outdoor world?” Hawkeye groused and curled up a little bit in his chair. That wouldn’t save him. Steve didn’t know why Hawkeye was so wound up – he himself always found the rain rather bracing.  
“And what’s the occasion?” Steve gestured at the champagne.  
“First of all, there’s _always_ occasion.” Tony pointed at him, then popped the cork. Hawkeye shot it into the ceiling, as was custom. “The outdoor world is crime free and not as cold as Tuesday. Then again, I have a nice, dry, heated suit – “  
He was cut off by Hawkeye’s moan, and the archer blocked his ears.  
“Please Cap? He said it was crime free out there!” 

The city flashed white outside, a flicker in Steve’s peripheral vision, and thunder growled above them. Everyone went silent on instinct, and Steve felt his big, excitable heart dance a rather classy Charleston into his throat. But no wild and stormy god made a man-shaped hole in the wall, so his heart did some cool jazz steps back down again.  
“Aw look at him.” Tony patronized, then supped a bit of champagne so as not to face the Star Spangled Scowl. “Practically jumped out the window.”  
Nat had a ‘Steve’s adorable’ smile as she reached over to pat his patriotic shoulder. “Sometimes lightning’s just lightning Steve.”  
Another glimmer flickered the clouds white in the night, and Steve tried to let out his breath without it seeming like a mournful, god-thirsty sigh.  
“Lightning that’s probably going to fry us on the way to downtown.” Hawkeye pouted and rubbed his eyes. “I’m not ready to die to bad weather after all we’ve been through.”  
“You’re afraid of a little lightning now, Clint?” Steve raised his eyebrows at the archer with a challenge in his smile.  
“Maybe I wouldn’t be if I was bangin’ the thunder god.” Hawkeye shot back, and Tony sucked in a breathy ‘oooh’ of delight.  
“As interesting as this conversation sounds…” 

A deep, rich Asgardian voice rumbled from the doorway, and Steve didn’t quite jump out the window, but he did leap off the couch. There, leaned against the doorframe in all his muscular, blonde, crimson-caped glory was Thor. His galaxy-blue eyes sparkled with amusement, and today more than ever, he somehow just glowed. The god’s skin looked healthier than ever, his hair had grown and fell in splendid, plaited tresses around his shoulders, and the swells of his arms glimmered with rain. All of a sudden, Steve felt like Weak Small Steve, ready for a Huge Handsome Viking to carry him off.  
“Thor.” Steve kind of breathed, then cleared his throat without breaking eye contact. “You’re back.”  
“As promised.” Thor smiled a good-humoured smile, so why did that make Steve’s heart race so badly? “Steve, beloved, it has been too long!”  
There was a slight squee of happiness from Hawkeye at the word ‘beloved’, but Steve generally opted to ignore squeeing. He may have blushed a teensy bit though.

Thor let his hammer fall to the ground with the usual thunk, opened his arms and strode forward. Nat and Tony would coo over him later, but Steve couldn’t help but break into a glad, warm smile and pull his friend and lover into the powerful warrior embraces Thor was so fond of. It was –  
Oh _heck._  
As soon he met Thor’s touch, electric heat pounded through his blood like nothing he’d felt before. The breathlessness and hunger hit him like a red-skinned Nazi fist to the chest, and oh, things were going to get increasingly more… _inappropriate_ by the second. Thor smelled like rain, and ozone and green things, his touch infused by the energy he always contained, and…Steve was a weak and suddenly desperate man. He tangled his fingers into that potentially sacred Asgardian hair and pulled Thor in for a kiss. The god made a happy, low noise of surprise, but Thor didn’t have a scrap of shame in him on a good day.

“Whoo, Cap, slow down there champ.” Nat laughed from behind him, but there was something so heady and _addictive_ about Thor’s touch, his lips right now, and things were getting _really very inappropriate._  
“You missed me as much as I missed you then?” Thor chuckled and ran a thumb across Steve’s temple. He really was being romantic and all, but Steve felt wonderfully not in the mood for simple romance. So he leaned up and captured those electric lips again with even more gusto. Such _very nice_ lips.  
“Oookay, I’ve seen what this leads to.” Tony Stark had not forgotten the blackened, broken mess of the Living Quarters last time there had been this much Tension. So he shooed his hands at them. “Shoo. Go break Thor’s magical Asgardian room.”  
They broke apart with a gasp of breath and a current of something that had Steve crazy. Thor just felt so vigorous and in his prime, and it was a feeling too damn fine to miss out on.  
“Verily. I will hear tales of your adventures in my absence later.” Thor didn’t even look at Tony, but admired Steve with appreciative eyes. Oh, he knew Thor always liked it when he got enthusiastic. So Steve hooked a couple of fingers down the front of that Asgardian armour and dragged him toward the corridor.

“Well, the old man’s still going.” Tony pursed his lips at the words he kinda wished he hadn’t said now.  
“Yeah, is it warm in here or is it just me?” Natasha winked, and Tony agreed. It was a little warm in here. Probably to do with the warmer weather. Yes. Definitely.  
“But this means I don’t have to go on patrol!” Hawkeye punched the air in victory. “Thor’s god bod saves the day again!”  
“ _Thor_ barely had to do anything.” Natasha smirked and drank some champagne that Tony hadn’t seen her steal. What a sneak. “I’ve never seen Steve act like that. He was getting in some hip movement and everyth – “  
“Ugh, jeez Nat, you can’t talk about Captain America like that!” Clint rubbed his eyes in a vain attempt to erase the thought, and Natasha just laughed.  
“Didn’t you call him ‘dad’ once?” Tony pointed out, and poured himself another glass of champagne.  
“Exactly!” Clint shot a disturbed look at the corridor, down which things were probably getting freaky and slightly electrical.  
“Well, if Steve’s happy I can’t complain, even if he turns into a spring bunny now and again.” Natasha looked utterly pleased with herself under Clint’s pained groan.  
“You almost make me _want_ to go and patrol just to get my mind off Captain America doing anything remotely…you know – “  
“Sex. Steamy, hot sex. I bet he’s riding Thor’s big – “ Natasha’s mentally scarring description was luckily overridden, as Hawkeye shoved his hands over his ears and leapt up with repeated yells of ‘NOPE’. Tony simply helped himself to a third glass of champagne. The Black Widow cackled and finished off her drink, which barely touched that Russian-trained resistance.

“Well, that’s my wicked deed done for the day. I’ll be off now.” She pursed her lips in a smile and went to go change into her jimmy jams. Hawkeye appeared to have taken off into the night, despite the ongoing, vigorous thunderstorm that Tony shouldn’t read into too much. And what about this ever popular, handsome, billionaire himself? Well he had the rest of a bottle of champagne to finish.  
All three Avengers tried not to acknowledge the fact that they all felt something warm stir a little with the change in the wind.

 

“Tony!”  
Tony lurched out of his champagne coma to see a wild-eyed Bruce standing over him with what looked like a potted Aloe Vera. Not this dream again. He closed his bloodshot eyes and tried to –  
“Tony, I will dunk you.” Bruce’s now-decidedly very real voice snapped Tony’s eyes open again. There were only so many times one could get dunked in the Hudson by the Incredible Hulk before it got old.  
“Hng. What.” Tony creaked up and JARVIS, the disobedient brat, untinted the windows to reveal bright, pale sun. Why. Who even needed sun?  
“It’s alive!” Bruce waved the plant, and Tony eyeballed the thing with a touch of fear. He’d seen The Little Shop of Horrors.  
“Oh God Bruce, what heinous science did you perform?” Tony got the sudden image of his Science Bro on top of the tower roof amidst Thor’s enthusiastic lightning with a potted plant raised to the skies. He rubbed his eyes, but the foliage seemed normal. Then again, Bruce seemed normal until he bust out the green biceps.  
“Nothing! No science, that’s just it!” Bruce poked the pot dirt with a pencil, and held it up to his glasses. “Betsie was all but dead, and now she’s just…growing!”  
“You named your plant Betsie?” Tony managed out over his champagne headache and reached for the hangover shake JARVIS had delivered on a roomba every morning. Bruce just ducked his head with a laugh, all abashed, and Tony picked up his phone with in-built scanner tech. After a hum and an aesthetic laser grid, nothing popped up.

“Are you sure Betsie died? I mean you didn’t notice Cap and Thor were dating for _weeks_.” True, Tony had thought it had been a prank for the first month, because that was something he would so totally do.  
“Thor’s always a bit hands-on and Cap’s too proper to make it obvious.” Bruce shrugged, and lifted a green succulent leaf. Too proper? Tell that to Mr Ass-Grab-the-Alien from last night. “And yes I’m sure because I felt so guilty.”  
Tony just sighed and rolled his eyes back under closed lids. Wow, he could almost see his throbbing brain from in here.  
“Maybe Clint watered it for you in secret. Who knows. But with it being nice weather and all, we may as well go get an Avenging Tan.”

 

Thor drew in a deep lungful of breath as he wandered through Central Park. The wind had a warm edge, the sun shone, and the emerald shine of the leaves all had him in a good mood. This was just such a marvellous time of year, the time of year he felt most alive. Everything was new and growing and he loved to see the little creatures with renewed energy. The Asgardian smiled up at the trees as a bird’s spring voice took up a tune, and he hummed a little strain himself. Until he got summoned to battle, the park just felt like the best place to be.  
“Thor! Uh, your – your majesty – “ A flustered looking young Midgardian women scrambled toward him, out of breath. Many Midgardians seemed to get out of breath around him. Perhaps they were sick. Humans were very fragile after all.  
“What ails you?” Thor shot her the warmest smile, because everything was beautiful and good right now.  
“W-well, I’m a…I study history, like ancient cultures, and – and, well, most of the ancient Nordic culture was destroyed by Christians in the 8th and 12th centuries and the only recordings we have are influenced by monks…” She trailed off a toyed with one of her head full of finely crafted braids, eyes wide and full of hope. “You were there. Do you think… you could tell me about the society?”  
A chance to tell stories most glorious upon such a fine day? Thor just about hugged his hammer with joy. Almost as good as a mighty monster to fight!  
“A great people indeed! Come, let us sit upon the meadow and sing of their deeds.”

 

And that was where Clint and Cap came across him later; Thor, the mighty god of thunder, on a flower filled meadow with an audience of about thirty people, singing heartily about how Finances were Witchcraft. Somebody had even made him a daisy chain crown.  
“Has Central Park always had this many flowers?” Clint quirked an eyebrow at the periwinkles and buttercups that had forgotten about winter altogether. A pair of squirrels bounded past, probably off to make tiny adorable baby squirrels in some discreet bushes. Cap didn’t seem to have heard him. Cap seemed like he too wanted to be chased into some discreet bushes.  
“Cap?” He elbowed the Star Spangled Man as Thor moved on to a strain about Leif the Forlorn’s Divorce by his Wife and Subsequent Great Shame.  
“Does Thor look different to you?” Cap cocked his head, and hooked his thumbs into his utility belt. “He seems more...potent somehow.”  
Clint wished he’d turned his hearing aid Right The Fuck Off.  
“Ugh, no, you did not just say that to me.” Why did the world seem out to mentally scar him recently? “Look, I know you and Thor are all lovey-dovey, but so help me, if you start talking about his _potency_ …ugh, I can’t believe you made me say that.”

It didn’t help that Cap looked slightly smug, so Clint pointedly looked in the other direction. Some mounted cops were having trouble to their right – one of the horses seemed to be making frisky tail action at the other. Jeez, it seemed like everything was out to bang at the moment. And of course, he didn’t have a girlfriend to enjoy the sexy spring sensations with. Maybe it was time to go to bars and pull out the Avenger card. Then again, just how many times was he willing to get called Hawkguy, Bowman and Archerdude?  
  
***

“Plants!!!!” Bruce burst into the Rec Room with a handful of grass.  
“Again?” Tony looked up from his whiskey. This was the tenth time in six days that Bruce had gotten far too enthusiastic about plants than was probably necessary.  
“Tony, it’s 11am.” Captain Dadmerica breezed in like a spring pixie, whisked away the whiskey and planted a large glass of water in his hand. Tony wasn’t even sure his body knew what water was at this point, so he gave a loud whine and attempted to paw his booze back.  
“No fair! Why aren’t you still having a sex marathon with Thor?” Tony wasn’t even kidding. He swore that the pair of them had gone for a solid twelve hours last night, but because he’d had the foresight to soundproof every room, he couldn’t prove it.  
“Plants!” Bruce interrupted Steve’s totally bullshit ‘stern’ face by showering them both with loose grass. “Tony, I swear they’ve been growing way too fast. At home, in parks…I even saw bunches of grass growing through cracks in the pavement. In _New York_. This might be something dangerous.”  
“Big green rage monster’s afraid of grass now?” Tony sipped his water by accident and almost cried it back out again. Why had Steve robbed him of sweet whiskey.  
“Banner, if you think it’s important I’m sure Tony will help you.” Steve put on his most diplomatic voice. “Natasha and I are going on a city sweep. We’ll keep an eye out for suspicious plants.”  
“JARVIS! Add that one to the quote book.” Tony hauled himself up and found himself with less lethargy than he expected. The water couldn’t have worked that fast, could it?  
“Right away, sir.”

 

Natasha kicked back on the couch after a nice day of beating common criminals into pulp. The weather was perfect – warm rain at night, sunshine in the day – and there was just a good feeling in the air somehow. Even the major villains seemed to be on spring break. The sudden image of Doctor Doom frolicking in a cherry-blossom orchard made Natasha smile - of course, the other Avengers clocked it as one of her ‘mysterious smiles’ with no idea what had caused it. But she’d lose her mystique if they knew the truth.  
“Clint’s turn to pick the movie tonight!” Tony vaulted on to the couch with more energy than she’d seen him with since The Battle of New York. “Disclaimer, I will drown you in the spa if you pick anything plant-related.”  
“What did the plants do to you, Stark?” Thor set the barrel he had over one shoulder down beside his and Steve’s couch with an amused rumble.  
“Let me guess, whatever you tried was fruitless.” Clint deadpanned. Tony gave a strangled, pained yell and threw a wineglass at him. A typical movie night then. The archer brushed off the glass shards, picked out Stardust and hunkered on down beside Natasha while Thor broke out the mead horns. He was generous as ever with the stuff, but it really wasn’t made for human people, even human people with Russian Resilience. Natasha kind of wanted her memories and dignity when she woke up in the morning. Tony apparently didn’t, and Steve wasn’t a regular human person, so he’d be alright.  
“You’re a sap for picking this movie you know.” Natasa murmured to Clint with a teasing smile and nudged him.  
“What can I say, I get enough explosions and action sequences every other hour of my life.” Clint shrugged and slung an arm back across the couch cushions.

Needless to say, throughout the film Thor and Steve gravitated closer together and slid into a more and more horizontal position until they became a hot, blonde mess on their couch. With the mood she was in, Natasha was herself becoming a bit of a hot mess. Stardust wasn’t a particularly sexy movie, but there just seemed to be something in the air tonight. Like some little voice was just whispering ‘treat yourself’ in her ear with a wink and a point at the man next to her. Besides, Hawkeye was warm. With really nice arms. And kinda cute. Very cute. She would murder people before she let him find out though.  
That was what she thought until she woke up beside Clint the next day, gave a shout of surprise and fell out of bed. Clint screamed and hurled himself buck ass nude out the window. They agreed to never speak of it again and called an Emergency Avenger’s Meeting.

 

“What’s this all about?” Steve used his finely crafted Leader Voice as he took a seat in their Briefing Room.  
“Where’s your boyfriend?” Tony shot back. Despite his Super Coma last night, the genius still seemed buoyant, almost, dare he say it, perky. Unnatural, that’s what it was.  
“He’s kinda taken to singing Nordic history in the park when he’s not on duty.” Steve appreciated Thor’s enthusiastic participation in Tamika’s (the Norse Sociology student) research project. He knew the drill, also being a historical relic. “He’ll be here soon.”  
Steve had sent the god a text reminder, but Thor's reply was a small, cartoon phone picture of an open hand. What that meant, he had no idea. “Maybe it’s best that he isn’t for now.” Natasha hunched over the table. “No offense, but I think there’s something going on with him.”  
“Something going on with him?” Steve frowned. Sure, Thor did look like a particularly handsome son of a gun recently, but that was just because he’d been away for a while, right?  
“There’s something going on with the plants too.” Banner had an array of pot plants on the table in front of him and a clipboard. “I’ve been studying them, and they’re growing three, maybe four times as fast as they should be.”  
“Some kind of villain?” Steve would be lying if he said he hadn’t noticed the plants either – New York had gone from barren and grey to borderline lush in no time at all.  
“Maybe?” Banner offered, but he didn’t look convinced. Steve supposed Plant Biology wasn’t his brand of science. “But it’s definitely the elements in the soil. It’s like someone tilled topsoil under New York somehow.”  
“And that’s not the only thing.” Hawkeye shot Nat an odd side eye. “I mean, back to the Thor thing…ever since he arrived, you’ve been…”  
“Playboy America?” Tony gave him a bright, perky smile and slurped a glass of water. Unnerving. “Steve ‘PDA’ Rogers? The Sex Spangled Man? I have more.”

Steve just shot all of them a glare as a flush tinged his cheeks, despite the fact he knew he was a bit out of line here. But it just _felt so good._  
“He was away for a few weeks. We’re just…making up.”  
“Steve.” Natasha folded her hands on the table. “It’s not like you. Tony drinking water is not like him.”  
Tony shot her a defensive look and hugged his water.  
“Other…things are not like they should be.” She shot a glance at Hawkeye, but Steve had a feeling that whatever had gone on, it was filed alongside ‘Budapest’. “And it all it all started when Thor arrived.”

Steve let out a clipped sigh. “How could it be Thor’s fault?”  
“We’re not saying it’s his _fault_ but – “  
“Wait, when did Thor arrive?” Banner interrupted Hawkeye and removed his glasses.  
“A week ago, why?” Sure Steve had a defensive tone. He didn’t like everyone ganging up on his guy.  
“The plants started a week ago.” Banner said in a hushed voice.  
“Look, guys, we can’t pin this on Thor!” Steve protested. Sure, they could pin Thor being handsome on Thor, because he was. But the rest of this stuff?  
“And the good weather!” Hawkeye jumped on the gravy train too. “Maybe it’s some weird Asgardian thing!”  
“Hold on.” Natasha pulled out her phone as Steve threw up frustrated hands. Tony just sipped his water, arm slung over the back of his chair. “Oh. _Oh._ ”

“What?” Steve leaned forward with furrowed brows, and Nat flicked the display of her screen into the 3D display in the centre of the table. A Norse mythology site.  
“’Thor, also known as the Thunderer, is most widely recognized as a storm god and protector of mankind’.” Natasha read. “’However he was also considered a powerful fertility god and bringer of Spring: ‘It was he who chased away the frosts and called gentle winds and warm spring rains to release the earth from its bondage of ice and snow.’ Well.”  
There was a moment of silence.  
“So you’re telling me that Thor’s giving us a dose of Spring Fever?” Steve couldn’t quite believe the god would do that on purpose without a warning first, although he didn’t mind too much. He’d never had a more giddy week in his life.  
“Looking at it, he has been ground zero for, like, all the weird things.” Tony offered with a shrug over Hawkeye’s protest of ‘ _you_ , not us!’.

All of a sudden, there was a distinctive Asgardian landing crunch from outside. Everyone went quiet and stared at the thunder god as he breezed through the door. Needless to say, Steve’s loins immediately melted like butter. Thor was all a-glow, eyes bright, and the way he strode toward them was just full of masculine power.  
“Whelp, we lost Steve.” Tony commented, and Steve shot him a glare. Ok, maybe they were right.  
“Friends! I apologize for my lateness. The park-goers had many questions!” Thor beamed and twirled his hammer, then frowned a little at the silent stare he received, and possibly at Bruce’s small table garden.  
“Thor, is there anything you’d like to tell us?” Nat raised her eyebrows, and the god’s confused eyes flitted between them all.  
“Have you….questions on the Norse people also?” Thor tried, and that was confirmation enough – it wasn’t in the god’s nature to lie.

“Look, Thor, we’re not trying to gang up on you here, but there have been a few strange things going on and we think you might be the cause.” Steve sighed and tried to focus on the wall behind the god, because ok, his Spring Aura was very much getting to him.  
“Strange things? What strange things?” Thor looked so bewildered that Steve kind of felt sorry for him.  
“Sex-bunny Steve?” Tony pointed at him, and received a Side-Eye.  
“The plants growing way faster than they should?” Banner offered Thor some daffodil stalks in a pot, which the god took and frowned at.  
“Thor, it says here you’re a fertility god.” Nat gestured at the screen, and something seemed to dawn on the big blonde hunk.  
“Oh. Odin’s beard, I had forgotten about that!” Thor ran a hand over his mouth and hurriedly put the daffodil, which had started to flower in his hand, back on the table. “Friends, I must apologize profusely. It has been over a thousand years since I have walked upon Midgard in Spring, and I had forgotten…”  
He turned to look at the door as the Science Bros gaped at the plant. “I should leave.”  
“No, no you don’t have to.” Steve was out of his chair before he realized what he was doing, and everybody at the table raised a simultaneous eyebrow at him.

“Look Thor, can you control it?” Nat asked, and hopefully ignored Tony’s snide remark about Steve not being able to control it. The fair-haired god dropped his hammer on the floor and looked at his hands for a moment.  
“I believe so. But I am…out of practise.”  
“Well maybe you should do some avenging out in the corn fields until you can reign it in.” Tony spun a bit in his chair and earned a Godly Glare. “Point Break, you’re turning New York into lush pasturelands.”  
“I mean is that a bad thing? We could honestly do with more trees around here.” Steve pointed out, and Banner nodded in agreement. “Aren’t you Mr Green Energy?”  
“Are you sure that’s what this is about?” Tony raised his eyebrows and received the special Tony Contempt Smirk.  
“Thor’s doing our city a service. We might as well appreciate it.” He straightened his uniform as Tony rolled his eyes.  
“Ok, but if plants start destroying the infrastructure, that one’s on you.” The shorter guy got up and waltzed off to wherever beaten Tonys went after an argument. Probably the liquor cabinet.

“Wait, is this gonna last all spring?” Hawkeye shot Nat a glance, then turned to Thor.  
“I will try and ‘reign it in’ as soon as I am able.” Thor looked back at his big, strong hands as the daffodil on the table bloomed. As he watched the flower, Steve’s eye caught on a string of text at the bottom of the article. He read it for a moment while the two spies left for patrol, and an anxious streak shot through his chest.

“Thor, what’s this?” He blew the paragraph up to read it better. “’Thor will ride to meet his fate against the great serpent Jor…”  
“Jormungandr.” Thor strode forward and waved the article off. “Do not read such things. They are distant and will only court worry in your heart.”  
But Steve had read it. That Thor would face this monster in glorious battle, smite it, then fall dead from poison after nine steps.  
“You will call us, you will call the Avengers if…” He gestured at the table with one hand, and took Thor’s hand with the other.  
“Not in your lifetime, I do not think.” Thor gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead, then led him like a dame to a dance toward the door. Steve wasn’t even sure what his lifespan would be at this point. “Come now! Tis a beautiful day and I must rehearse restraint on my magic.”  
Despite the worry, there wasn’t a better way Steve could imagine spending a spring afternoon. So he let Thor catch him around the waist and hurl the pair of them into the eggshell blue sky.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this nonesense! I'd love to know what you thought of it, so leave a comment or kudos if you like ^.^ I sort of got the Clint/Nat scene from Gina and Boyle in Brooklyn Nine Nine :P I think I'll return to them as a Brotp for now though n.n Hope you enjoyed Thor, hope you enjoyed Steve and I hope you got a laugh out of it! Thank you so much for reading, and stay awesome buddies +｡:.ﾟヽ(´∀`｡)ﾉﾟ.:｡+ﾟﾟ+｡:.ﾟヽ(*´∀`)ﾉﾟ.:｡+ﾟ
> 
> If you'd like to support me, you can [check out my novel](https://www.kobo.com/nz/en/ebook/tea-in-the-outback) or [shout me a drink!](https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TT3Q6W95QFSM2) ^.^


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